Third Day Away From Home

On today's to-do-list was to write my Chrsitmas cards and go into town (5 minute walk) and get a present for my mum for Christmas. I had a lazy morning, I did set and alarm for 8 and this was a good idea as it stopped me from going into light sleep for hours. I had breakfast and watched TV until 11am, when I decided to run myself a quick bath. I have a waterproof iPad case (from amazon) which means I can watch programmes in the bath and this I did. I stayed in the bath for an hour and a half watching catch up. I then got out, got dressed and had lunch, it was at this point I started to feel more anxious as I knew I was going to need to shop in the next few hours. I was putting it off and continued to until my housemate said she would join me, this helped as at least she would be there if I had a panic attack. I was nervous like I was about to enter an exam before I left the house and as I walked into town. Once I entered the shop I did need to try and calm myself down a little and was having thoughts of leaving, however I stayed in there for about five minutes which was good, I just didn't really look properly as I wanted it to be over. I then went to another store and I felt a little bit better but still nervous I would have a panic attack and thoughts of leaving the shop. I quickly found a present though that I love and am exited to give. I took it to the till and stood in a two person que. I did fidget a lot at this point as I was really nervous I was going to have an attack and my brain kept asking me if I wanted to leave the shop. My anxiety levels shot up once my card was in the machine, this is because it's a sign of being temporarily pinned to the spot and I can't go any where. However, my anxiety went down loads once I left the shop and walked home. 

University House Christmas Tree

I was then fine for a few hours just sat in the living room playing on my iPad. Then about 6 I started to feel more agitated and stated focusing on the fact I wasn't able to breath as clearly as I would have liked. I felt like I needed to lie down and for half an hour close my eyes. These sort of feelings continued through the evening getting worse when the room was full of people as it means there is more people to see me agitated and less room to lie down.